When a coach can lead his wrestlers down the right decision making path, can inspire a winning attitude in the hearts and minds of each athlete, can conquer their fear of failure, and get them to believe in themselves, not only will he have a winning team, our Nation and World will be a better place because of the future leaders he influences and empowers. What an opportunity for our Nation!
Last Saturday, I was doing a Coaches Clinic in Daytona Beach, Florida…yeah I know, rough life getting paid to teach wrestling at the beach. After I was done teaching some techniques that many coaches have blessed me with, this guy said, “Don’t you get sick of answering the same questions all the time about wrestling technique, lifting weights, nutrition, and mental preparation,” and I said, “To be honest, sometimes it does get a little monotonous, but for our sport to continue to grow across this Nation, we have to spread the wealth to as many people as possible. The benefits to our sport outweigh the cost of me answering droves of questions. What good does it do to have knowledge about something but not be willing to tell others about it?” He said, “No good,” and I shook my head in agreement realizing that I feel the same way about spreading my Faith in God.
This Coach and I proceeded to talk about the state of mind of most Middle and High School wrestlers. We both agreed that most of these youth don’t really believe they will accomplish their goals in wrestling or that they will win each time they step out on the mat. These youth do believe they have the potential to make varsity, win Regionals, and become the State Champion. Some believe they have the potential to wrestle in College, become an NCAA Champion, and maybe win an Olympic Gold Medal. How come this potential belief doesn’t become real belief and lead to a winning attitude? The answer usually involves the wrestlers lifestyle through their daily choices, definition of winning, fear of failure, and/or lack of belief in themselves.
I know so many wrestlers who had so much potential in High School, but their talents were wasted because of their lifestyle and daily decisions. Some people call these individuals “Ida’s”, which is slang for I would have. We have all talked to these Ida’s through the years, and they always have the same stories saying, “Ida won state, wrestled in college, or even won National and World Titles if Ida put more time, commitment, and hard work into the sport.” Many also say they could have become way more successful if they wouldn’t have used alcohol and drugs frequently, failed their classes, gotten their girlfriend pregnant, or hung out with the wrong crowd. Well, these Ida’s could have accomplished their goals in wrestling and life IF they would have made better choices and learned from their mistakes, but they didn’t. Their poor choices and stubborn attitude kept them from becoming complete athletes, not lacking anything. Trust me, I was no Angel throughout my 19 year Olympic journey. My bad choices lead to many stumbling blocks, but there are always lessons to learn and ways to internally grow. To avoid being and Ida, you have to turn your stumbling blocks into stepping-stones. Then, instead of being and Ida, you can say that you failed your way to the top.
To have a winning attitude, you must understand the true definition of winning. Our American culture, as a whole, defines winning as being the best; getting the gold medal, first place trophy, or blue ribbon. I’m sorry to bust some people’s bubble, but reaching the apex is not the true definition of winning. Actually, the majority of humans on this earth will never know what’s like to get first place in anything. Does that mean that they’re all a bunch of losers? Heck no! As long as one gives their best, full, and complete effort with the gifts God has blessed them with, THAT is what makes them a winner. Now, I am not saying we shouldn’t strive to get the Gold in all we do. Every single time we compete, we should strive to reach the top, but if we come up short, as long as we gave it everything we had, we won. One of my favorite quotes is:
“To achieve the possible, you must attempt the impossible. To be all you can be, you must dream of being more.”
Throughout my journey, I didn’t always get first place. I went 1-2 BBQ many times. But, I always new I was winner, and no one could take that attitude away from me. Being a winner is a lifestyle which includes doing everything ethically possible to achieve the goals you set for yourself and having the ability to overcome failure very quickly. If you get bucked off your horse when your 20 miles away from home, you don’t take a break, walk 10 miles, and then get back in the saddle. No, you immediately dust yourself off, hop back on that sucker, and try again. The sooner you recover from failure, the sooner you will become victorious in all levels of life.
But for many youth, it takes days to recover from a loss or being embarrassed by doing a move wrong in practice. Plus, many youth just, out right, fear failure. On the other hand, elite athletes can recover from the same negativity in 4-5 seconds. Also, instead of fearing failure, elite athletes focus on winning by visualizing themselves getting their hand raised, scoring takedowns, and turning/pinning their opponent. That is a huge difference in negative recovery and attitude. How do you bridge the gap in negative recovery time and get your athletes to not fear failure? First, you must know that you have to fail to win. Let me say that again. You have to fail to win. To learn a move properly, you have to take a risk and attempt it in practice or in a match, and when you take a risk, there is the chance you will fail. But, you will never know until you try. You may have heard the biggest risk in life is not taking one. If we didn’t lose wrestling matches, we wouldn’t know what we needed to work on to improve our performance. I lost to Joe Williams four times before I finally got my hand raised. I lost to Charles Burton 18-6 at The Midlands my sophomore year and came back to beat him my junior year. As I said earlier, we have to fail our way to the top. Once you can get a wrestler to realize every mistake he makes can make him better as long as he learns from it, you can decrease their recovery time from failure and put them on a faster track to victory. Nobody likes to lose, but you can’t fear failure. Fearing you will lose before you step on the mat is like paying interest on a Truck you haven’t even bought yet. It’s a waste of time and resources! Instead of focusing on losing, you have to focus on victory.
How do you get negative thoughts and fears out of your mind? It’s not easy, but there is a way. I call it positive replacement. Whenever you have a negative thought like seeing your opponent winning the match, taking you down, or thinking your opponent may be better, you have to eliminate that negativity and replace those worthless thoughts with positive thoughts. To do this, you can develop a structure that fits your persona. I use a baseball structure, which is interesting to me because I never played baseball, but some say, if I had played baseball that I would have been a short stop because I’m 5’8”. Then, I say, “Ha..Ha..you’re hilarious.” When I have a negative thought or thoughts, I take those thoughts and visually place them into an ugly beat up black baseball. Then, I imagine myself standing at home plate in a baseball park, with a baseball uniform on, holding a huge brown bat. I visualize that black baseball filled with negativity coming at me at home plate. When the black ball gets there, I blast it out of the park and see it disappearing into the sky. Then, I began filling my mind with positive thoughts of getting my hand raised and scoring points. This process really works for me. Yes, I do have to hit many balls out of the park. I just keep hitting the negative balls out and positively replacing those thoughts. Some people have told me they visualize their negative thoughts being in a clay pigeon while blasting it away with their 12 gauge. Others have visualized their thoughts being in a can and seeing themselves smash the can flat with a jackhammer. You can use any structure that you feel comfortable with to eliminate negative thoughts. The key is to get rid of negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.
Finally, the main reason some wrestlers don’t reach their potential is because they don’t believe in themselves. When they step on that mat, they are really hoping something good happens instead of knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they will get their hand raised. If you can see it, you can do it. If you can visualize yourself getting a takedown, making Varsity, winning a State Title, becoming an NCAA Champion, and becoming an Olympic Champion, then you can do it. If you believe it, then you can do it.
If you believe from the depths of your body, mind, and soul that you can do it, then you will.
What happens when you truly believe and come up short? You learn, internally grow, and look forward to the challenge that lies ahead, and THAT’S LIFE!
« Back to Articles List
